twitter review: the thief of bagdad

tonight's film: the thief of bagdad! hell yes!
note that barnes and noble currently has all their criterion dvds at half price, which means they're actually reasonable.
"This is a sleep beyond my knowledge!"
dude, if i end up in a harem and they ask me to stay, i'm staying. period.
"lord of the earth! defender of the faith!"
jafar is a dink, i'll admit.
"Is it a crime, then, to think?"
jafar's three rules for successful middle management:
1. the lash that descends
2. the yoke that breaks
3. the sword that slays
ahmad learns the hard way not to read his own press.
it's sabu! sabu is awesome.
if movie heavies were a football team, conrad veidt would totally make the varsity squad.
gurustuji@ Major Strasser alone makes him the starting QB.
"I'm Abu the thief! Son of Abu the thief! Grandson of Abu the thief!"
every once in a while this movie is kinda like a western. it's weird.
basra! it's the big time, boys!
man those pancakes look good.
"He guards his toys more jealously than he guards his daughter" -- this is pretty much every parent i know.
that watermelon looks good too! technicolor always makes me hungry.
i actually had to stop to make a bowl of soup. mmm!
ahmad, if you wanna get with the princess, you need to get rid of that ridiculous moustache.
yes, ladies! to the pool!
"Are you a good genie?" "Not *too* good!"
he's good with the flirting, i'll give him that.
do not take the princess to the garden of death! take her to a dairy queen or something!
sabu, being a dude, has better things to think about than dames.
man i totally want to be known as The Usurper.
gurustu@ All hail The Usurper, technical director of The Theater of Cruelty! (I made that last part up myself, hope you like it. Wear a cape.)
god, the toy collection effects are awesome. nuts to your cgi.
(there's a documentary on harryhausen, muren and barron with the criterion set. i'm watching that for the first time today!)
"What do you want my daughter for?"
i never know how i feel about the old king. is he pathetic? is he a jerk? how responsible is he?
whenever i watch a sinbad film i wish i was a better chess player.
veidt's eyes, man! he's got crazy eyes!
allah is merciful indeed!
the queen of the harem has the most badass platform shoes ever.
bummerism trope 38: "Is this a dream?"
Halima, that's the gal for me!
oh snap! it's a trap!
Jaffar is evil as heck, man!
"Yes, Jaffar! It's always Jaffar!"
he can see! and sabu doesn't have to be a dog any more! but at what price?
dude, don't throw your sword in the water!
THE EYES OF CONRAD VEIDT COMMAND YOU!
i'm usually the jaffar in the triangle, so i can see where he's coming from.
ahmad makes it clear: it's hoes before bros, every time.
oh man, the garden of desolation is how i want my bedroom to look.
and now, ladies and gentlemen, we come to the payoff: the silver maiden.
let's take a minute to appreciate that smack-dab in the middle of this film there's an eight-limbed blue sex robot who can play sitar.
"She tickles!"
of course, there is a downside to such a device, as he learns.
"FREE! FREE! HA HA HA!"
"If I'm going to die in a moment, I can dare anything!"
sabu really is the hero. i think that's obvious.
the all-seeing eye! i could use me one of those!
the models for the top of the world are amazing.
as a noise dude, the echoplex stuff really flips my wig.
having seen a bunch of really lame giant puppet spiders in my time, let me say that the spider in TOB is AWESOME.
how does he climb a rope with his toes like that? that's awesome!
the dumb bastard went to the grand canyon!
"Oh, I know all about that! Your princess!"
man, i could go for some blue rose of forgetfulness right now.
jaffar: inventer of roofies.
"Knowledge can be more terrible than ignorance!" ain't it the truth.
ahmad is a jerk.
"FREE! FREE! FREEEEEE!"
i'm totally gonna use the line "Everything in the past is forgotten. You were always in love with me".
ahmad, you screwed the pooch, dude.
swordfight is always improved by doing it on the stairs.
that's right, ahmed! you have failed!
and shave that ridiculous moustache!
the land of legend! outstanding!
if you want to talk about a children's movie with a strong moral compass, this is it.
remember my dude scale? sabu is a stand-up dude. ahmed is kind of a dink but he'll dude up when it counts.
do it, sabu!
DO IT!
HOORAY!
right between the eyes!
"You found what you wanted, now I'll find what I want! Some fun and adventure at last!"
so if you haven't seen it, the Thief of Bagdad is absolutely awesome and about as entertaining as any movie ever made.
I think I've seen it twenty times or so, and it's always fun. and that wraps it up. GOOD NIGHT AMSTERDAM!