Thursday, July 16, 2009

twitter review: Fear No Evil

remember, you can catch these reviews live at http://twitter.com/todf. It's Movie of the Week Week, and Fear No Evil was the first ever Movie of the Week, way back in 1969. The copy I'm watching comes from the mind-breaking Big Box of Evil compiled by Damon Packard and available from your friends at Brutallo.

y'know, it's still early, let's just jump into MOTWW #2: Fear No Evil.
and it starts heavy, with expressionist camera angles, Berio-style voices and organ riffs! Yes!
there's an evil mirror that leads to hell! and for only three hundred dollars!
but enough of that: it's morning in America!
gotta like a gal who keeps her booze in a safe.
and here's Carrol O'Connor, just as smooth as ever with the ladies.
"How do you get through three weeks waiting for your wedding day?" "Making love!" "That sounds like a wonderful idea!"
archie bunker can pull off lines like that, not me.
let me say, from personal experience, that when a married couple joke about you having an affair with the wife, it's bad news.
never, in my life, have i got so fucked up that i went out and bought an evil mirror.
occult cocktail party!
"Doctor of the Inconceivable" -- I'm totally stealing that.
This is a really quotable movie. I'll try to keep it to a minimum.
Paul, dude, you're a swinging physicist with a super-hot wife. You've got no reason to be angry.
And you drive a Stanley Steamer, man.
not a lot of protection when you roll a steamer.
it's the mirror! another evil mirror!
stop looking in the evil mirror! it's evil!
more great nightgown action, that's for sure.
mirror necro makeout party!
i've said it before, and i say it again: movies were better when everybody did drugs.
the problem with MOTW is you know there's never going to be any nudity.
lasers! everything is better with lasers and oscillators!
"Unlike laser beams, the human soul is unaccountable to mathematics." Or something!
don't go into the mirror! it's creepy in the mirror!
to recap: dude buys evil mirror so he can hump his wife from beyond the grave.
"What's a metaphysical research center?"
"The Academy of Mysticism, The Atlantis Federation, The Pyramid Circle..."
the paul tape recording is AWESOME. Touch the south point!
Lord of Light, Lust and Blood!
and if all that isn't enough, here comes the bummerism hat trick: the Black Wedding!
Carol O'Connor saying "Can you doubt that Satan leaped from Heaven, not as the vanquished but as the victor?" is the awesomest.
BLACK MASS! with LASERS!
TOUCH THE SOUTH POINT!
i should not need to tell you that this movie rules.
"Do you really think you can contain an abstraction?"
walking into the mirror, always awesome. just ask Lewis Carroll or Axl Rose.
and I think it's about bedtime. if you're down for Movie of the Week occult bummerism action, Fear No Evil is the jam. GOOD NIGHT AMSTERDAM!

proper review of Fear No Evil (and the whole Big Box of Evil) later this week.

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